Excitement at Hogwarts
by KellineNectar
Summary: Exciting things are happening at Hogwarts! Appearances from Harry, Ron, Draco, and more!
1. Chapter 1

"You're my favorite." He hissed in the younger boys ear.

"Mmmm I can tell." Malfoy replied between pants.

Draco reached behind him and grabbed the man he was entangled with. They pushed their hips in a quickening rhythm. Faster and faster they raced until Voldemort was screaming with pleasure.

"Crumpets! Jesus, ahhh!" Voldy screeched in the heat of the moment.

Malfoy kissed his lovers perfect, marble lips to keep him from waking the headmaster. Many people thought Dumbledore was nicknamed headmaster because of his position at the school. When in reality his position title was principal, since no one fucking says headmaster as a person working at a school. No, he was the head master because he was the best at giving head. Once he blew half the year ones just to win a bet with McGonagal.

After a couple more eye popping, jaw dropping minutes the pair gave in to exhaustion. As Draco snuggled into Voldemort he nestled his small cantaloupe shaped head into Voldys rigid collar bones. Nothing turned Draco on quite like a rigid man. And nothing turned Voldemort on quite like a small, underage child with a cantaloupe shaped head. He smelled the young boys mess of blond hair.

"Mmmm you smell like blueberries." Voldemort was very curious now. Slowly he stuck out his six foot tongue and caressed the sweaty, blueberry-smelling, mop of pee colored hair. It didn't taste like blueberries at all. In fact, it tasted like the little old lady at the end of his neighborhood.

"Did you just lick me?" Malfoy asked incredulously.

"No. I just, ah, bumped your head. Sorry baby." With that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named kissed his favorite followers forehead.

"Weird, it felt like you swirled around my head. Haha whatever." Secretly Draco had been wishing V would just admit it so next time they had some new kinky stuff to work with. The whole bondage thing had been fun at first, but as the saying goes, you can't wear the same butt plug twice.

"Thanks again for sneaking me in through the window. I don't think I could handle another one of Professor Flitwick's safe sex speeches. He's a total dick!" Voldemort complained loudly.

"Shh, don't wake anyone up. And he's about the size of one too!" D retorted.

"Goddamn it. I fucking hate you so damn much. Why the fuck you in my bed again, nigga?" Harry had drunkenly stumbled back to Hogwarts after a night of partying only to find Voldemort and Draco going at it like rabbits in his bed.

"We had sexual intercourse." Draco replied cheerily.

"Fine, k, good job. Now move, I gotta get my bong cuz it's almost 4:20."

"It's 4:21." V pointed out.

Harrys face twisted into a look of agony and suddenly all the pain he had ever experienced flashed across his face.

"What can I do to cheer you up?" Draco questioned, hoping it would get him to just go away.

Harry was able to squish out a few words. "Maybe I'll visit the headmaster."

"He's done diddly gonna go get a blowjob from good old dumbleydore," V said, absently petting Draco. They both sniggered as Harry stormed out of the room, muttering under his breath about how it didn't matter if he was going to get a bj from D-Dore or not.


	2. Chapter 2

While Voldy and Draco were doing the unspeakable in the dormitory, elsewhere other antics were going on.

In the third floor abandoned bathroom, Moaning Myrtle and Hermione were up to their own mischief, proving that you can do the do even if half of the dooers is a ghost.

"At least you're better than Ron," Hermione said in a dull voice, while Myrtle violently fisted Hermione's bum.

"I"m well trained in the art of shoving my fisted limb up an ass and making the best of it." Myrtle said, as tears streamed down her phantom cheeks. She never should've traded her soul to the devil for those scrambled eggs. Since Hermione made weekly virgin sacrifices she had received Myrtle as a gift to do with as she pleased. Naturally Hermione had taken her straight to the nearest private room. Hermione had told Myrtle exactly what to do the first time. Then as they grew more familiar they began to explore.

"No more talking like that. I only want to hear sexy noises coming from you!" Hermione barked.

Myrtle moaned, choking back a sob as she continued penetrating Hermione's anal cavity with her fist. When she was finished, Myrtle's fist finally exited the booty, her knuckles a nasty brown color.

"You need to learn to wipe, bitch. You got poop all over my hand!" Myrtle waved her fist in Hermione's face violently.

"Sorry that I don't stick my whole arm up there when I wipe, Myrtle." Hermione rolled her eyes.

They sat silently for a while, the only noise was a dripping faucet, and Myrtle's occasional sniffles. Then, Hermione broke the silence, her voice thoughtful. "I wonder if anal feels like backwards pooping."

Myrtle stared, shrugging her ghostly shoulders.

"I mean, I've never tried it. Ron's a wimp and refuses to let his dick touch anyone but Harry, and Harry isn't a fan of anal unless its being performed on him. I can't talk Draco into sneaking away from Voldemort long enough to fuck him. I'd rather do Draco than Harry."

Myrtle sniffed, her nose in the air. Hermione had forgotten Myrtle's crush on Harry. "You're such a slut, Hermy."

Hermione grinned, pulling a pair of rubber gloves out of her robes. "I know. YOLO. Your turn!"

Hermione snapped on the gloves. Myrtle laid down on the bathroom floor. The cold tile was wet from her tears. In fact it was like a river. Small poop nuggets would occasionally float by.

"Open wide!" Hermione said.

Myrtle opened her mouth as wide as she could. Then she reached up and unhinged her jaw. H began to slide her hand into the ghosts throat.

"May I slither into your chamber of secrets?" Ms. Granger cackled wildly.

Hermione began to massage Myrtles stomach, working in slow circles. Myrtles back arched off the ground. Hermione had reached the girls stomach. Working with precision she pinched the edge of the stomach and began to twist. Myrtle exploded. She sent cunt nectar everywhere. The walls were coated in the thick, white slime. Hermione was stunned. At first she didn't know what to do. She just sat there covered in Myrtle's cheese sauce.

After a few moments of sitting in shock, Hermione stood up and tore off her nectar-covered robes. Then, she lay in the slime upon the floor, moving her arms and legs in an angel shape.

"What are you doing?" Myrtle sputtered, a look of horror upon her face.

"Its like snow angels," Hermy stated enthusiastically.

"Snow cones? I love snow cones!" With that Myrtle pulled out a cone and and loaded it with her sauce. Lips opened and the cone entered. A tongue swirled it around, tasting it, feeling it. She bit off a small piece and savored it. Her eyes closed as she orgasmed for the second time, because it tasted that good. Soon she was laying on the floor shoveling it in.

"Myrtle, I um," Hermione was at a loss for words. "I said angels, not cones. That can't be sanitary."

Myrtle, ignoring Hermione's wise words, cupped the sweet nectar in her hands and brought it to Hermione's mouth. Hermy darted, causing Myrtle to drop her nasty all over Hermione's black undies. "Myrtle!" Hermione screeched. "You got it all over!"

Myrtle smiled and clapped her hands together excitedly, causing blobs of her produce to go flying again. She had a white mustache that contrasted strangely with her dark brown pigtails.

"It looks like I've ruined your panties! Guess you'll have to remove them."

Hermione sighed loudly before removing the moist, soiled underwear. Myrtle grabbed them and shoved them in her mouth. But that wasn't enough. She needed all of it inside her, now! She grabbed a plunger and used the handle to force them deeper and deeper. She tried to moan but nothing came out. The end of the plunger broke off in her throat. She still pushed down. But now Myrtle couldn't breathe. Her lungs gasped for air. Her eyes twitched. Slowly she suffocated, right there. Hermiones booty game too strong.

"Geez, doing Myrtle really came back and bit me in the butt." Hermione exclaimed. "I think I'll go get a snack."


	3. Chapter 3

Back in their dormitory, Harry and Ron were getting higher than the tallest tower in Hogwarts.

The sickly smell of pot permeated the room, and acid tablets lay scattered on the floor.

"Are you guys going to bed soon?" Neville's voice squeaked from behind the closed curtains of his four-poster bed.

"Why, you wanna join us?" Ron asked dumbly.

"No!" Suddenly, Neville's curtain's ripped open and Neville was to the dormitory door in seconds. "I'm going to the common room. See you!' He hurried out of sight.

"Where's Seamus and Dean?" Harry asked, looking at the ceiling.

"Probably fucking in the third floor bathroom. Its where they usually are, ain't it?"

"I don't know mate. Isn't that where we usually go?"

"I'm too high for this. Just give me the bong." Harry was too impatient to wait for Ron to hand it to him, so he went grabbing for it himself.

"Harry, that's my wiener."

"Sorry mate, too much going on with me." Harry gave up on trying to reach the bong. Instead he leaned his pale, little head on Ron's bony shoulder.

"Ron why do you have a boner?" Harry asked, its not Ron didn't always have one. It was finally time for Harry to ask why he hadn't seen his friend without one. Ever.

"I take these pills. They're great. But that's a side effect." The boy so high his head touched Jupiter, slurred as he spoke about his erect member. Slowly, both the boys fell asleep, slumped over each other. As unconsciousness took them they curled up together.


End file.
